Roleplaying can be a fun and healthy way to spice up your sex life.  This is especially true in long-term relationships where things can become routine and boring.  Not to say that wanting to roleplay is exclusive for people bored with sex.  Indeed, most will agree that even “routine” sex is still fun.  But bedroom roleplay can add a whole new element of excitement to the mix and lets couples explore new ideas or ways of doing things.  This article will explore some of the dos and don’ts of bedroom roleplay.

Communication

One of the most important parts of bedroom roleplay is communicating with your partner.

As far as the dos and don’ts of bedroom roleplay are concerned:

Dos

Do let your partner know you would like to try to roleplay, talk about it with them and get their feedback.  If your partner doesn’t like the idea, find some mutual ground to start with.  They may have an idea of something they would want to try instead.  If you are new to roleplaying, it can be challenging to know where to start.

Do have a plan on what you are going to roleplay.  If it’s a specific scenario or scene from a show or movie, watch the scene together or go over the basics of the plan.  Though I’ve found that more general ideas (sex slave scenarios, stranger hook up, etc.) tend to be easier to set up and execute than re-enactments.  If you or your partner have never roleplayed before, starting small and pretending to be specific characters is usually more than enough to get started.

Do be considerate of your partner’s wants and needs.  If they don’t seem into the thing, you are roleplaying, back off, and make a new plan. The idea is for both partners to have an enjoyable experience, so if that goal isn’t being met, scrap it and start over.

Don’ts

Don’t be forceful about the roleplay.  If you are trying to enact something your partner is uncomfortable with, don’t force it.  This is particularly true if you are new to roleplay.  It is hard for some people to enjoy roleplaying if the subject matter is something that makes them uncomfortable.

Don’t roleplay scenarios that include anyone you or your partner personally know.  If you ask your girlfriend or wife to roleplay, and you want them to play the role of their sister, things probably aren’t going to go well for you.

Communication and planning are essential but keep the plan light so that it retains its fun.  If you or your partner have to memorize a script beforehand, it will probably not be enjoyable.  Keep things light and fluid.

Planning

 That brings us to the second set of dos and don’ts of bedroom roleplay: planning.  Once you have decided on a scene or scenario, next you need to make a plan.  Where will you meet?  Do you need any props or costumes to make the experience more immersive?  While most roleplay can take place in your home, some couples enjoy playing out “stranger” scenarios where they pretend not to know each other and meet up in a bar or club.

Dos

Do have a flexible plan on how you will execute your roleplay.  A general outline is all you will need for most situations.  Start small and build up from there.

Do gather all necessary props and costumes beforehand.  If you need anything to make the roleplay more immersive, ensure you have all that stuff beforehand.  While costumes and props aren’t required for good roleplay, it does help. 

Do have an exit plan. Discuss things like safe words and endpoints during the planning phase.  If you get into roleplaying and find it uncomfortable, you can end the scenario immediately. 

Don’ts

Don’t ignore the exit plan. Seriously, if your partner gives you a safe word, stop immediately.  This goes for both parties.  Roleplay should be fun for everyone involved, so stop what you are doing and re-evaluate the scene if anyone isn’t having fun.

Don’t be too rigid.  If you have the whole thing written out like a movie scene, and you have to stop to remember what happens next, it’s probably not going to be as fun as you think.  Have a plan that’s open and dynamic.  It seems strange, but plan to be flexible with your plan.

Execution

Execution of your plan should be the fun part.  As far as dos and don’ts of bedroom roleplay go, this is where the rubber meets the dick.  (if you use one.)  gather all your props, put on your costumes, and execute your plan.

Dos

Do be punctual.  If you are doing a stranger hook-up and need to meet someplace, be on time.  Nothing can ruin a good roleplay like showing up late, and being on time shows your partner that you are excited about this.

Do be careful.  If your scenario includes anything dangerous, IE, rope play, make sure to take safety seriously.  You don’t want to injure your partner.

Do have everything set up and ready to go beforehand.  If your roleplay includes specific things, like hotel rooms, make sure you have them booked ahead.  Nothing can kill the mood like waiting in line to check in to a hotel.

Don’ts

Don’t take your roleplaying too seriously.  This should be a fun, easy experience; if you take it too seriously, it can go south fast.  It’s a lot more fun if it ends up being something you can laugh about later.

Don’t ignore your partner’s feelings.  This is a theme in the dos and don’ts of bedroom roleplay, but I assume you are more interested in roleplay than your partner if you are reading this.

Most people are uncomfortable pretending to be someone else which can cause tension, especially in someone who has never roleplayed before.  Make sure to take their feelings into consideration at every step.

Conclusion

There are many more dos and don’ts of bedroom roleplay, and as you and your partner run more scenarios, you will likely be able to come up with your own list quickly.  Remember to start small and simple.  I referenced the stranger hook-up roleplay several times in this article because it’s one of the easiest roleplays to do.  All it takes is meeting somewhere, pretending not to know each other, and then shacking up.  The more roleplaying you do, the more comfortable you and your partner will be with more specific scenarios. If you find that roleplay isn’t a good fit, you could try playing sex games instead.  If you have any other dos and don’ts of bedroom roleplay you would like to share, please leave us a comment below.