Men. You and I both know you like to experiment. It’s the male condition to be curious about whether or not something is going to feel good. We all remember that movie American Pie. But there are certain things you just should not do. All of the items on this list seem pretty obvious. However, all of them have been tried by some dude at least once. Here is a list of ten things you shouldn’t put your dick in.

Hot tub or pool inlets.

I’m sure you read that and thought, “Yeah, no kidding.” We have all heard the stories of men who have tried it and got stuck. Some of them suffered permanent damage. Even our good friend Florida Man has gotten his pecker stuck in one of these. The police arrived and shut down the suction; however, the man’s penis had swollen and remained stuck. It took paramedics 45 minutes to get him free.

Padlocks.

I’m sure a padlock may seem like an excellent improvised sex toy. However, it’s probably not a great plan to sick your dick into anything that cant be removed/cut off quickly. A man in Thailand didn’t get the memo and managed to get a padlock stuck on his penis for 14 days. The resulting infection has left his junk permanently damaged.

Ball bearings.

Yes. This actually happened. In 2018 a polish man managed to get his pecker stuck in an automotive ball bearing. Firstly, It took firefighters and paramedics almost an hour to cut the bearing off. Secondly, I’m not sure if he was trying to masturbate with the bearing or use it as a cock ring. Either way, don’t stick your penis in ball bearings.

Weight plates.

A German man managed to get his junk stuck in a five-and-a-half-pound weight plate at the gym. Maybe he wanted to exercise his penis. Perhaps he just really loved the weights. Who knows.  He was taken to a hospital to get it removed. The hospital had to bring in the fire department to cut the plate off. After 3 hours, he was finally freed.

Metal pipes.

For this one, we go back to Thailand. Apparently, some dude thought it would be a good idea to jack off with a metal pipe. The pipe cut off return blood flow, causing his penis to swell and get stuck in the pipe. His penis stayed stuck for five days before he went to the ER. At the ER, he told doctors that he had used the pipe before and never had a problem. By the time he sought medical treatment, the skin on his penis was necrotic and had started rotting. Just don’t do it.

Dead bodies.

This is the most disturbing item on the list. But a man in Savannah, Georgia, managed to get his penis stuck in the butthole of a dead man. He had been working the night shift at the Chatham County Morgue. Apparently, He decided to stick his junk into the body of car accident victim. He was caught by his coworkers seven hours later. It took paramedics another hour or so to separate the two, and he was quickly arrested. of all ten things you shouldn’t put your dick in, defiantly don’t put it in a dead body.

Plastic bottle.

Shockingly, this one actually happens quite frequently. Sometimes people seek medical treatment. But our next story tried to remove it himself before calling for help. A 21-year-old Malaysian man claimed he got his junk stuck while peeing in a bottle. He then mutilated his penis by trying to remove it with a hacksaw. He did eventually call for help, but it’s unclear if his unit suffered permanent damage.

Engagement ring.

I’m not particularly well endowed, but I don’t think I could fit my dick into an engagement ring. But a man from China managed to not only get his penis through the ring. Then he stayed stuck there for 2 days. Nobody knows if he was trying to propose with the ring around his penis or if he just put it there for fun. But I’m sure he won’t be doing that again.

Small appliances.

Just because something has a hole in it doesn’t mean you should put your pecker in it. Some jackass managed to get his dick stuck inside a camp stove. After mutilating himself, he went to the ER to get it removed. When asked why he stuck his pecker in the stove, he told the nurse, “because I was a horny man.”

Park Benches.

Even if a park bench seems really attractive, do not stick your dick in it. A 41-year-old from Hong Kong did it. He managed to get his dick stuck in a hole in a park bench. After trying to free the man, firefighters ended up having to cut away part of the bench and take the man to the ER. It took medical crews another four hours to free the man’s dick from the bench.

just remember…

There you have it. Ten things you shouldn’t put your dick in. No matter how horny you get or how hot you think some inanimate object looks, just don’t. I’m almost certain most of these guys on the list suffered permanent damage to their units. Pretty much if it’s made of metal, has a small opening with little to no give, or has the potential to cut off blood flow, don’t put your dick in it. If you absolutely need to put your dick in something, buy a stroker. If you ever find yourself asking, “will it fit?” just remember this list, and think again.

Make sure to share this information with your friends so that they too will know the things you shouldn’t put your dick in.