Last year for Halloween, we did an article about 10 Dungeons and Dragons monsters there were unintentionally hot.  This year, we’ve decided to expand on that by adding monsters that shouldn’t be hot but are, from movies, TV shows and games.  As usual, this list is based solely on what monsters I would stick my dick in if given the choice.  I know several of you out there will agree with me on some, if not all of this list.  I’ve excluded (most) monsters that were designed to be hot.  for example, the Queen of Blades isn’t on the list.  neither is Maleficent.  Both are hot on purpose.  If I’ve missed any of your favorites, please leave them in the comments below.

Brain Bug from Starship Troopers

There’s an obvious innuendo in the facial design of the brain bug.  And everyone who saw the movie, particularly 15-year-old boys, defiantly saw it. The face has eight eyes arranged in two lines to the left and right of the monster’s mouth.  Its mouth has two praying mantis like arms or mandibles towards the bottom.  The mouth itself looks like a giant, puffy, vagina.  The vagina mouth opening is shown as secreting a mucus like substance.  I don’t know why the look of this thing is so arousing, but I know I’m not the only one who thinks so.  The designers of this monster defiantly knew what they were doing when they designed the Brain Bugs sexually explicit face.

Xenomorphs from Alien

Xenomorphs are one of the most well recognized species of aliens in Sci-Fi.  They pretty much set the modern standard for scary alien creatures. Xenomorphs feature an exoskeleton giving them a very insect like appearance.  They have two arms, two legs and a tail.  Their long, pickle shaped heads are smooth and shiny.  Xenomorphs slender appearance, dark colors, and somewhat slimy appearance makes them sexy as hell.  They remind me of someone wearing tight, shiny leather.  Xenomorphs have been turned pornographic by countless artists who have furthered the sexual appeal of these monsters.

Nurse from Silent Hill

No doubt, the creators of Silent Hill knew what they were doing when they made their bubble head nurse characters. Their lack of a face, strange mechanical movements, and smoking hot bodies make them a very sexy monster.  They have almost a “gutter punk,” or zombie vibe to them since they are always filthy. The Bubble Head Nurse is supposed to be creepy and scary. They aren’t something you would want to run into in a dark alley. however, if you could bang one, you know you would.  This monster is another one that shows up a lot in pornographic searches.

Alpha Female Darkseeker from I Am Legend

I’m not a hundred percent sure the Alpha Female from I Am Legend should be on the list.  Obviously, she’s a monster.  But they picked an attractive aesthetic on purpose.  Her natural sex appeal is far beyond most of the other monsters on this list.  Either way, the Alpha Female Darkseeker may look a little bit gross, but her body is rockin in all the right ways.  I don’t even mind the lack of hair.  There’s something primal about the darkseekers.  Which, to people like me, is very hot.

Janis from Wasp Women (95)

The original Wasp Woman came out some time in 1959.  admittedly, I haven’t seen the original.  I did however see the 1995 remake.  If you haven’t seen Wasp Woman, I wouldn’t recommend it.  The movie plays out like a shitty soft-core porno and has NOT aged well at all.  However, if you’re interested, you can find the full-length film on YouTube.  I won’t spoil it for you, but I will say this: the Wasp Woman is the hottest bug based monster I’ve ever seen.  Also, she is very horny.  Somehow, the costume designers for this show managed to make a human sized wasp attractive.  Though, (spoiler alert) she does literally eat some guys penis which is kind of gross.  but what a hell of a way to die.

Predator Huntress from Predator: Hunting Grounds

While female predators existed in novels and comics, Hunting Grounds finally showed us how sexy they actually are. The Huntress was the first instance of a high quality, rendered female predator.  Her pale green skin, fit body, and large breasts make her very appealing. The novels and comics describe the predator race as a matriarchy. And just like the males of the species, the females are also fierce warriors. much like Xenomorphs, predators have been turned pornographic by countless artists worldwide.  The real question here is, mask on, or off?

Clotho from God of War

She’s huge and gross, but who can resist all those giant breasts? Clotho looks like a morbidly obese, purple skinned silk worm.   Which makes sense, since she’s supposed to represent the spinner of fate.  As far as monsters that shouldn’t be hot but are, her appearance isn’t for everyone.  Her face, and most of her body aren’t great.  However, if getting trapped under a breast the size of a Volkswagen makes you hard, she defiantly fits the bill.

Arachne from Hercules The Legendary Journy

I’ll admit, I have an unnatural fear of spiders.  However, Arachne from Hercules The Legendary Journy makes me feel weird.  Arachne is a smoking hot, half women, half spider.  She has 8 legs (obviously), claws on her hands, and fangs all attached to a very pleasing human female torso.  She preys on men who wander into her lair. If she were real, I’d probably be found among her dead.

There are many more monsters that shouldn’t be hot but are.  If I included all of them, I wouldn’t have anything to write about next Halloween.  Dren from splice, the Nun, the weird lizard chick from V, there really are a lot of hot monster women out there.  If monsters and aliens are your thing, check out our store page for some great looking fantasy based strokers.  You won’t regret it.  If we forgot to include your favorite monsters that shouldn’t be hot but are, please leave us a comment below.