How to discretely order adult toys.

a delivery man walking to someones door with a package from bigass sex toys dot com

One of the many things I enjoy doing is browsing various social media platforms for blog inspiration.  Of course, I also watch way too many cat videos, too.  But I digress.  One topic that comes up a lot in adult toy groups is how to discretely order adult toys.  Many folks worry.  And for many different reasons.  Some people still live with their parents or have snoopy roommates.  Some have shared bank accounts and worry how transactions will show up.  Whatever the reasons, today’s article is about how to discretely order adult toys.

Buy Local

One of the easiest ways to discretely order adult toys isn’t to order them at all.  By shopping at your local sex shop, you can pay cash which hides the transaction from whoever might be looking at your bank statements.  It also gives you full control of your adult toy immediately- no box sitting on your porch or accidentally (or purposely) being opened by someone you live with.  However, you’ll still have to get the thing in your house and hide it.  This is easy enough if you can sneak it in while others are sleeping.  Still, I recommend taking a back pack with you that you can put it in, just in case someone wakes up.

Check the FAQ and product descriptions

Most online sex shops have an FAQ or will include information on billing and shipping in their product description.  This of course isn’t the case if shopping with a large retailer like Amazon.  I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve ordered something only to have it sit on my porch in its naked retail packaging with a shipping label stuck to it.  But if you are dealing with a sex toy specific company, most of them will ship your items in a plain box with a return address listed as something else.  For example, Alien Love Co has a return address listed as Alien Emporium.  Transactions will show up on your bank statement as Alien Emporium, too.  If anyone goes to the AlienEmporium.store website, they will be greeted with a screen showing that the site is currently undergoing maintenance.  If you aren’t sure about the place you are trying to buy adult products from, you could always give them a call or send them an email and ask about billing and shipping.

Use Prepaid cards.

Another easy way to discretely order sex toys is to use prepaid cards.  This is particularly useful if you worry about how it will show up on your bank statement.  However, it should be noted that most online sex retailers use some sort of address verification security which can cause prepaid card transactions to fail.  If this happens, try putting the billing zip code as 00000.  If that doesn’t work, call the card issuer, and ask them what you should put as the billing address for a failed transaction.

Retail Cover

Retail cover is one of my favorite methods for discretely ordering adult toys.  Especially if you live with someone who is particularly nosey and wants to see what came in the box.  When you buy your sex toys, buy something else with it like a t-shirt or a hat.  Something that can come in the same box that you can show prying eyes to make them drop it.  Alien Love Co sells things that aren’t sex toys for this exact purpose.  This works pretty good with big retailers like Amazon too and can help ensure that your product comes in a plain brown amazon box instead of its retail packaging.

a tan hat with  headless stick man on it.  in place of his head is a box with a captains that says need.
Buy something else with your adult toys to act as retail cover.

You don’t want retail packaging.

This is one that a lot of people don’t think of when trying to discretely order adult toys.  But even if a company mails everything in a plain box, inside that box will be retail packaging that you have to figure out how to get rid of without someone finding it.  The simple solution is to ask the retailer to exclude the retail packaging.  Some companies won’t do this, since it requires them to open your sex toy before shipping it.  But others are cool about it.  Alien Love Co has done this on many occasions.  Just put in the comment section on your order “no retail packaging,” and most of them will get the hint.  But again, it depends on the retailer.

Order it somewhere else.

The truly nice thing about ordering things on the internet is that you can have those things delivered wherever the hell you want.  If you have someone you trust that won’t judge you for buying sex toys, you can ask them if you can have it shipped to their house instead of yours.  I used to do this all the time as a teen when I didn’t want my mom to know I ordered stuff on the internet.

Summary

There are many strategies available when trying to figure out how to discretely order adult toys.  All it really takes most of the time is a little bit of creativity.  Of course, finding a toy you like and reaching out to the seller is always the easiest option.  But if even that makes you nervous you can find all kinds of information on the host website.  The reality is most adult toy stores are going to try and protect your privacy.  They will bill and mail everything as discretely as possible and will follow special packaging instructions to the best of their ability. 

Alien Love Co

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How to discretely order adult toys.

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