As Alien Love Co closes out our tribute to couple’s month, we felt it was a good time to make a list of dos and don’ts for Valentine’s Day. Valentines isn’t a particularly tricky holiday, however there are some mistakes people make when planning a night out. A lot of those mistakes can compound and create bigger problems in a relationship. Obviously, Valentines isn’t as important to some couples as it is to others and is typically only a big deal to newer couples. However, our dos and don’ts for Valentine’s Day should be mostly universal for experienced couples, and new couples alike.

Dos

Here is the Dos portion of the dos and don’ts for Valentine’s Day.

Plan

Make a plan, and plan early. Traditionally Valentine’s Day is treated as a huge date night with many couples doing several activities throughout the day. There are three basic ways to perform a huge date. You can either host the date, where you plan everything. You can participate when your partner hosts. Or you can sit down together and make a plan that you both are part of. Most couples will have a host/participant arrangement. But planning together can be a great way to get involved. If you are hosting the date, make sure to lock in your plans a week or more before. Having reservations can help exponentially with nailing down a timeline for your date.

Consider your partner

This may seem obvious but I can’t stress how important it is to consider your partners likes. Knowing your significant other likes quiet sit-down meals and planning to take her to a monster truck rally can be very off putting. Getting your partner flowers is a sweet gesture, unless they hate it. Really, you should have an idea of what your partner will like and dislike.  Thinking about it before hand can not only save you from a fight, it can also save money.

If you aren’t sure because the relationship is new, the easiest way is to plan the day together. If you read our article about things you should know about your partner, there’s plenty of tips in there that can help you establish a profile of things your partner would find thoughtful.

Be polite

Acting like a lady or a gentleman isn’t all that hard, and can really set the tone for the evening.  Obviously, in modern relationships this tip has a lot of grey area.  But for the most part, most people enjoy common curtsies and politeness.  Say please and thank you.  Excuse yourself from table to blow your nose.  Be courteous, not only to your date but to other couples that are out trying to have a good time. 

Being polite is more than just having good manners.  And in a long-term relationship, it can sometimes be hard to know what your partner expects.  People sometimes develop little nit picky things they don’t like, and if you are aware of those things you should avoid them.  An easy example is, a lot of couples forget some basics, like not to chew with their mouth open- or not to talk with their mouth full.  Just be conscious of what you are doing and how you are doing it, and you should be fine.

Pay attention

Listen to your date, and try to be as engaging as possible.  Its also important to pay close attention to their body language and tones.  If your date doesn’t seem to be having a good time, offer to change up the plan.  I can’t tell you the number of folks I’ve observed on Valentine’s Day (or just on a regular date in general) that were oblivious to their partners boredom.  Talk about their interests and try to be an active listener.

Don’ts

Finally, here is the Don’ts portion of the dos and don’ts for Valentine’s Day.

Go in half assed

Many people are absolutely floored when their SO says they are taking them out, only to find out their SO doesn’t have a clue what to do. If you show up to pick up your date, then ask “so what do you want to do?” You fucked up. This happens a lot for casual dates, and it can really ruin the mood for the whole thing. Obviously, this can be avoided by planning ahead. But if you didn’t plan and don’t have time to, there’s a big difference between “what do you want to do?” And “I was thinking we would go to that new restaurant. What do you think?” Most people appreciate that you asked their opinion, even if they are too timid to object.

Forget hygiene

If you show up to take your date out smelling like your job or wearing dirty clothes, chances are your date will feel unimportant. Make sure to cover the basics. Shower. Brush your teeth. Put on some nice, clean, activity appropriate clothing. A shave and a haircut never killed anyone either.

Be rude to service personnel

It always amazes me the number of people I see treating service people like shit. Back when I worked in the service industry, I hated valentine’s day because I knew about half the customers were going to be assholes just for the sake of being. I’m not sure why valentines specifically brought out that kind of behavior, but it isn’t a flex to treat people poorly.

Be distracted

Putting your phone on silent and giving your date your complete attention is one of the easiest ways to make a good impression. But it isn’t always a cell phone thar is distracting, either. Leaving your date alone to go chat with a buddy who just walked in, or getting too chatty with the folks around you can ruin their night. You might think it’s cool, and think to yourself, “if I show my date how many people I know, maybe they will be impressed.” They won’t.  If you do run into someone you know and they approach you, make sure to lead by introducing your date, and try to include them in the conversation as much as possible.  If you want to look like a dating pro, promptly excuse your friends and get back to the date.

Conclusion

In conclusion, if you follow these super simple dos and don’ts for Valentine’s Day, you’ll be a step ahead of most of the couples out there.  If done correctly, you might even get the happy ending you were hoping for.  If you have any other dos and don’ts for Valentine’s Day you would like to share, please leave us a comment below.