April 7th is world health day. This tends to be the time of year when we get bombarded with information reminding us to practice safe sex and get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. I see articles pop up about the latest facts and figures year after year. Condom advertisements promote prevention, and my doctor’s office sends me a friendly little email reminder to get tested. This is all great information and shouldn’t be taken lightly. But rarely do I see any information about living with an STD.

That’s not to say the information doesn’t exist. It just doesn’t usually get the same push as prevention. We decided to bring living with an STD into the limelight for world health day. When I was in my twenties, I started dating a girl who informed me almost right away that she had HPV. That relationship didn’t end there, and I did contract HPV as a result. We always practiced safe sex, but that alone wasn’t enough. I wasn’t mad that I got it. Since she had put it at the forefront of the relationship, it was basically my choice to take the risk. After that relationship ended, I made it a point to inform everyone I dated of my condition. Thus, giving them the same choice I had.

Sexually Transmitted Disease Refresher.

I will keep this section brief. I would like to think that most sexually active people in America know the basics of sexually transmitted diseases and how they spread. But just in case, here’s a quick refresher: most STDs can be spread through oral, vaginal, or anal sex. Condoms do a decent job of mitigating the risk of contracting an STD, but they are not 100 percent effective. Most STDs can also be spread through the misuse or mishandling of intravenous needles or blood contact. If you are sexually active, it’s recommended that you regularly get tested for various STDs. Especially if you have multiple partners. As stated before, many STDs are treatable, and some don’t have very predominant symptoms. 

Living with an STD

while finding out you have an STD can be very traumatic, I’m here to tell you it’s not the end of the world. You are not alone. Bacterial conditions like chlamydia can usually be treated with antibiotics and cured. Viral STDs, however, will stay with you for a very long time, if not the rest of your life. 

The most common viral STDs are HPV, Herpes, Hepatitis, and HIV. each of these has its own complications regarding dating and sex. It’s not always easy to be honest with people, especially about personal things like sexually transmitted diseases. This can be even more difficult if you have only known the person for a short time or things are already about to get hot and heavy. Hard as it may be, you should always be open and honest with your partners about anything you might have. Personally, I have always put my cards on the table on day one of dating someone new. It wasn’t usually easy. But I always felt it was the right thing to do. People have a right to know what they are getting into.

The digital age

Luckily, we live in the digital age, and there are plenty of resources available to help you sort things out. Two online platforms really stand out as far as dating goes: positivesingles.com and meetpositives.com. Both are dating sites for people who have an STD who don’t want to spread it. It makes it easy to find partners who already share whatever conditions you might have. Using these resources can reduce the shame and embarrassment some might experience when meeting new partners. Both platforms feature support groups, blogs, and a host of other resources for people with various diseases. Both platforms are available as a web-based service or using the apps available on android or apple devices.

Positive singles accounts can be created for free. But to access all the features in the app or on their website, there are fees. They offer 3 different billing plans. Monthly membership costs around 30 dollars, and if you pre-pay for 3 months, it’s $60. And for a 6-month subscription, it’s approximately $95. Meet positives is also free with paid feature unlocks. They offer a 1-month plan for 15 dollars. These fees are better than those of other popular dating sites like eHarmony, which charges around $70 a month on a 6-month plan.

Don’t be embarrassed

The most important advice I can give about living with an STD is to follow your health care provider’s treatment plan and recommendations. Do not be embarrassed or ashamed to ask as many questions as you may have. Health care professionals have seen it all and heard it all. Not to sound insensitive, but they don’t care if you have an STD. That’s to say, they aren’t going to judge you for contracting one. There are many ways you can get a disease, and having an illness doesn’t make you less of a person. Their job is to provide treatment and information to help you get through it.

Asking for Help

Finding out you have a disease can be frustrating and depressing. Like with many other life-altering events, it never hurts to see a counselor or psychologist to talk about your condition. It can be hard news to swallow, and reaching out can help you develop strategies to live a normal life. Living with a sexually transmitted disease really isn’t as bad as it sounds, though you will most likely have to make minor changes to your lifestyle. A counselor can help talk you through it, especially if you are struggling to handle it independently. If that type of treatment isn’t available for whatever reason, you can instead try to find a support group. Many groups exist online, and you can chat or skype with others who can help you. Some cities even have support groups that meet monthly. These groups can be general infectious disease groups or specialized groups for certain infections.  

I have been living with a sexually transmitted disease for many years. Luckily for me, HPV isn’t really all that bad in the short term, but it can cause long-term problems. While I’m not sure what the future will hold for me, I don’t let it get in the way of my life. I still managed to date many women who were all informed of my condition and didn’t care.