Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and while some men are struggling to plan the perfect date, many more are perfectly content with their lives of single solitude. There are many reasons men stay single. More and more men are making the decision to not pursue relationships each year. In today’s article will focus on five reasons men are choosing to stay single.

Lack of emotional support in relationships

The lack of emotional support men receive, not just from women, but from society in general is palpable. Society has taught us that men aren’t supposed to have emotions. That they are supposed to just “suck it up,” and keep on trucking no matter how they feel. In a relationship, a man is expected to be emotionally supportive to his significant other, but will generally receive no reciprocated support. A lot of women complain that their husband or boyfriend doesn’t open up to them. But most men have at least attempted to share how they feel with their partner. The reason they don’t, is because their feelings are generally not supported.

When a man does choose to open up about how he feels, one of two things generally happens. Either he is told to suck it up, completely devaluing how he feels. Or worse still, his feelings are some how turned around to be about his partner. If he is upset about something that was said or done, his partner will either blame him with statements about how he’s not adding up. Or, the subject will change completely to be about his partners feelings. Men will do this about one or two times, and then they close up and stop sharing how they feel.

Many men are choosing to stay single because it’s easier to deal with their feelings alone, than it is to expect some level of emotional support and not get it. However, some men lack the ability to convey their emotions to their partner, which in turn, guarantees they won’t have emotional support in a relationship.

They would rather prioritize their own happiness

Men are generally held accountable for their partners happiness in a relationship. They are expected to provide a lifestyle that maximizes their partners well-being, even if it requires sacrificing everything he enjoys. I’ve witnessed this first hand, and you probably have too. I know dozens of men who don’t have hobbies, or any interests. Or rather, they have things they enjoy doing, but they are never allowed to do them. These same men generally have partners that have many hobbies and interests that they pursue vigorously.

Think about your grandparents’ house. Its probably decorated with things grandma likes. She has her own room for scrapbooking or sewing. Her kitchen is filled with nice dishes, pots and pans. And grandpa probably has one or two things tucked away in a closest somewhere collecting dust. Grandpa has spent his whole life with the expectation of prioritizing her happiness, and only occasionally been allowed to pursue his own.

Many men are choosing to stay single because they have decided to prioritize their own happiness instead of someone else’s. Even though they could find someone who would let retain their individuality, they don’t want to fight the cliche. They aren’t ready or willing to give up their interests to be someone else’s bank for joy.

Men aren’t valued in a relationship

Society has taught us that men are only as valuable to their partner as what they can provide. Men are literally treated as a bank account instead of a person. Men in relationships are generally treated like garbage if they aren’t providing something of value at any given time. I get it, there’s a lot of men out there that make up excuses to not help with the kids or clean up after themselves. But even when men do those things, its somehow never enough. Its borderline thankless.

Men are choosing to stay single because they can find other places where their value is seen. Examples are their jobs or playing video games online. They go to work and feel more valued than they do at home. Or they log into a video game and feel like a valued member of their team. Even if they suck at what they are doing, their friends would rather have them there than not. They are valued for more than what they are providing. Which is perceived to be more than most men get from a relationship.

He doesn’t want to be hurt again

How many men do you know who had a relationship that they thought was going pretty well, end abruptly. And out of those men, how many of them did the woman run off because she found someone else who meets her own needs better. The number of men who have been divorced because they spent too much time at work is staggering. Men will ignore their own feelings, work their asses off, and try to provide everything their partner needs, just to be left in the dust because she found someone who’s more available. The irony is, in a lot of cases, the man isn’t available physically because he is at work all the time.

Its true that just as many men have left their wives or girlfriends for another woman. Its also true that many men have cheated on their significant other. Men generally cheat because the person they are cheating with provides them the emotional support they don’t get at home. Or the person they are cheating with values them as a human being.

Men are choosing to stay single because someone in their past has hurt them. And rather than bring that emotional damage into a new relationship, they have opted to remain single and not go through that again.

A desire for solitude

Some men have a great desire to just be left alone and do their own thing. And many of these men have found that when they are in a relationship, they aren’t afforded the opportunity for solitude. Their partners get mad at them for wanting to sit in the garage, or work personal projects, or just be left alone and not go out and do things on weekends. Men need alone time to decompress all the other things going on all the time. And a lot of women won’t give them time to do that.

A desire for solitude tends to be closely tied to a lack of emotional support. Men who don’t feel like they have support emotionally will want more alone time to deal with their feelings. It also ties in with prioritizing their own happiness. I have a close friend who loves working on motorcycles. He loves being alone in his garage, especially after a particularly hard day. He uses this physical hobby to decompress and relax. His wife rarely lets him have his peace, because she demands he spends that time taking care of their kids. I get it, a man should be there for his family. But his family should also understand that all give and no take can cause a multitude of problems.

Men that choose to stay single based on a desire for solitude have already learned the cold hard lessons of the other items on this list. They have been without emotional support, prioritized someone else’s happiness over their own, they have felt unvalued in previous relationships, and they have been deeply hurt by someone.

Conclusion

While there are many more reasons men are choosing to stay single, the five on this list are the most predominant. The purpose of this list isn’t to blame anyone, or to point fingers at any specific group. The men who don’t want to be in committed relationships are generally happy with their decision, regardless of the reason. If you have made the choice to stay single for a reason not on our list, please share it with us in the comment section.